Dear Diane Gamboa,

Hola! I am enrolled in a Chicanas and Latinas in the U.S. class at Loyola Marymount University and constructing a website in honor of you and your distinct and creative works. My professor is also an influential Chicana, Alma Lopez, and I am also enrolled in her Chicana Art class. To be honest, I randomly enrolled in these classes not knowing what I was stepping into.  I am a senior at LMU and a Communications major.  I was interested in these classes for I am Mexican American as well as other nationalities such as German, Irish, Russian, Mongolian (this will be further explained later in the letter). For my classes we are utilizing Laura Perez’s Chicana Art: the politics of spiritual and aesthetic altarities.  Within her novel, Perez discusses your paper fashion and inserts some of your works such as: Cutting Through, and Butterscotch Twist.  In addition, she also discusses your other artwork, where she describes them as  “Urban Royalty” including: Little Gold Man, Pinch Me, Altered States, and Madonna Whore Complex.  Your works are provocative and bold allowing me to think outside the box.  I love your sense of style especially in Cutting Through.  I am fascinated how you blend the femininity and masculinity causing me to reconceptualize each sex.
I am required to discuss certain topics that interest me that I have learned so far.  A concept I’d like to discuss the concept of land.  Within Perez’s work, she states, “the ideas of knowing your place and having a place are tied together and suggest that the personal sense of being at home, whether in society or in your body, whether it is a female, a queer, an immigrant, or a negatively racialized minority body, or a combination of these is shaped by our sense of belonging socially” (p 146). Do you agree with Perez’s statement? I agree with this statement but then I also question this statement.  Half of me feels like I have belonging due to my Mexican side yet my other half of me feels like I am missing something. However, even my Mexican side I don’t feel like I completely belong for I am not completely Mexican and do not feel completely accepted within the Mexican community due to being half Mexican and also not knowing Spanish.
This statement makes me question whether if anyone really has a sense of belonging more importantly those who migrated from Europe to the Americas.  My professor, Alma Lopez, made an excellent point when someone asked her “Where is she from?” she replies “I am from here.”  She stated that the person seemed confused to her response.  She then explained that her ancestors were from Mexico and also within the California area prior to the colonization of the Europeans. In addition, she also utilized Yolanda Lopez’s poster “Who’s the illegal alien, Pilgrim?” This made me question what we have been taught.  For example, we have been taught that Christopher Columbus “discovered” the Americas, however, that is a bias view and who is to say he discovered a place, people and culture. Also we are taught a dominant view of history but are not aware of the different accounts of other cultures. Although, it would be difficult to teach all perspectives of history, I believe it should be required to learn different histories of other cultures.  I am fortunate enough to have the opportunity to take different classes of other cultures yet I believe we are framed into one set mind and are taught one perspective, the Anglo view. 
The Europeans came to the Americas and stripped the lands of the indigenous and created their own place of identity to escape the oppressions and persecutions they experienced from their own native lands.  Although, the U.S. represents diversity, it also can cause one to feel confuse and lost due to so many cultures.  What is your opinion on the influence of land in one’s identity?  Do you feel as if your artwork and paper fashion have been influenced by land?  I can see how your paper fashion may be influenced by the land for you were in East Los Angeles during the punk scene.  Do you feel you could have constructed those pieces in a different area of the U.S.?
Another book we are utilizing is Gloria Anzaldua’s Borderlands/La Frontera: The New Mestiza and a concept that interested me was the new mestiza conciousness.  Anzaldua discusses how there is a constant “crossing over” and how an “an ‘alien’ conciousness is presently in the making-a new mestiza concisounss, una conciencia de mujer.  It is a consciousness of the Borderlands” (p 99). She also states Chicanas are “ in a constant state of mental nepantilisim, an Aztec word mening torn between ways, la mestiza is a product of the transfer of the cutlrual and spiritual values of one group to another”(p 100). Anzaldua describes the "opposing messages" that Chicanas receive and how there is a cultural collision. Do you feel as though you experience these opposing messages or cultural collision? Through my experience, I am constnatly receiving opposing messages. For instance, the American culture can be quite liberal in some cases where as Mexican tradition is conservative. In terms of dating, my Caucasian family encourages dating while my Mexican side of the family does not. They stress the importance of education independency yet my Caucasian side encourages one to date to know what you want in a significan other. Do you feel as a woman you recieve more opposing messages than men?

In addition, Anzaldua states, "within us and within la cultura chicana, commonly held beliefs of the white culture attack commonly held beliefs of the Mexican culture, and both attack commonly held belifs of the indigenous culture. Subconsciously, we see an attack on ourselves and our beliefs as a threat and we attempt to block with a counterstance" (p 100). What is your view on this statement? I believe it's very accurate. I have seen Mexicans attack other Mexicans for not being Mexican enough or wihte enough. I fit in this category. I always feel as though I am in between of a Mexican and white. In high school, I felt like I wasn't fully accepted among the Mexican group of students or the white students. In your artwork, I really see more of the gender binaries then of race. I think that's an important issue as well.

However, by me taking these two art classes I feel like I have found another side of me that I didn't know. It's quite liberating yet there is a lot of questions to be answered leaving me lost. Do you feel as though your artwork expresses who you are as a person or rather a message? I feel as though I can do some form of art to express a message yet does not really reflect my personal view or my values. Do you create art that does not reflect your views or opinions?

These art classes have made me question who I am as a person and what do I value. I am a senior graudating in May and I feel as though I am rediscovering myself. There is this transition period for me where I do not know what I want right at this moment in my life. I know what are my goals and aspirations yet I do not know if I want to pursue them as soon as I graduate or if I want to pursue them as soon as I graduate or if I want to dosme soul searching or more self discovery. Your paper fashion also has influenced me as well ato pursue some goals in fashion. I want to take some sewig classes to make my own clothing with my unique twist to it. I love being able to wear different styles yet I feel as though our culture has this on style of clothing that is accepted. I think creativity and the way we choose to express ourselves is important to oneself and to break those barriers plaed upon us. At times, I feel like race shouldn't matter but rather all of us as people. We need to be able to express ourselves and question what we have been taught.

Just want to thank you for your influences on Chicanas but also as people. We need more bold and out of the box people to express messages that many can not see nor want to see. Thank you for your time in reading this letter. Gracias!

Jessica Ellspermmann